1. Instant blogging material. When I run out of blogging ideas, I can just talk about what silly/hilarious/idiotic/embarrassing thing my kid did. And you will EAT IT UP. (Interestingly, it's just not as charming to discuss my own public tantrums.)
2. Smug know-it-all attitude. I'll get to start every sentence with, "Oh, well, as a PARENT..." I believe this will especially help me at work, as my entire job focuses on child care. Let's hope parent status = credibility = high six-figure salary.
3. They can fetch wine so I don't have to get up. Twist-off caps are the new black, ya'll!
4. They can fetch beer so I don't have to get up. Get Mommy a cold one.
5. They can fetch vodka so I don't have to get up. Well, it LOOKS like water.
Reasons not to have babies:
1. Everything else.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Reasons to have babies
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10 comments:
Figured you'd appreciate these. :)
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/5BF26A7C-80C6-4FD6-90D6-A6D9C7462611/BabyBeofUseBundle.cfm
Interestingly enough I wrote about kids on my blog today.
Same wavelength maybe?
Ditto to the EVERYTHING else reason!
oh come on! you know you're excited to move to the suburbs, but a minivan, and have soccer mom competitions about who can throw the most lavish birthday party for a 2 year old...
PLUS, don't forget about Aunt Shellbell!!!
Amen to the "everything else" reason......We decided NOT to have children a long time ago and we are very happy we did! =)
I'll settle for being an aunt for now. Seems pretty ideal - cute kid to hang out with, and I can always give him back to mom if something goes wrong.
Just stopping by. I enjoyed your list - particularly the part about using the kid to get mommy a beer. Very entertaining!
don't forget about being able to get on the plane first so that you can pick awesome seats.
ps. found you on 20sb I really like your blog
As a recent entry into the world of married people, I hear ya girl. I need at LEAST a year to NOT have babies before we even discuss.
I think the main reason to have kids is so that they can fetch stuff for you. I have had personal experiences when I was little having to retrieve tons of stuff for my parents. I can't wait for my turn!! LOL!! :D
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