The A-List

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, I asked Alexa to assign me a letter for this ABC letter game where you write a blog post about 10 of your favorite things beginning with the letter you were assigned. I like to think of myself as fashionably late to this game, but the truth is that I've just sucked at blogging lately. Time to break that cycle by telling you about my favorite things beginning with...

...the letter A!

Side note: Wanna participate? Leave a comment with your email address and I'll assign you a letter too.


1. Artichokes
Figures that the first thing on my list would be food. I'm obsessed with artichokes. On a pizza, in a dip, with some pasta, inside ravioli, as a fried appetizer -- I'll eat any of it. Yum. I'm giving myself a craving just thinking about it...

2. Artwork - original
I adore having original art in my apartment. Art not created by me, but by someone talented. I've got that amazing piece my boss made me as a wedding gift (below) along with some more paintings my talented sister created as well. You're jealous.




3. Andrew Sullivan
He writes the Daily Dish for the Atlantic and he's a gay, Catholic, British, libertarian conservative blogger who seems to share more Democratic/left-ish views than right. Actually, he battles with conservatives quite a bit (and he despises Ann Coulter, but, then again, who doesn't? Except Satan, I mean). He's thoughtful and brilliant.




4. Awful 90s music
Ang and I haven't done Dance Party Friday since we moved into our new office space, but that doesn't stop me from loving songs by Montell Jordan, Ace of Base, TLC, Blackstreet, Michael Jackson and the rest of our god-awful DPF favorites.




5. Alcohol
Too easy?




6. Accessories
I fully admit this one is a bit of a cop-out, but I'm not talking about accessories like jewelry and hair pieces. I'm talking SHOES, except my letter wasn't "S" so this is my only way to work it in here. I am mildly obsessed with shoes, even though I haven't bought a pair in, oh, a few months. I'm saving up to splurge for spring, so keep an eye on my feet once the weather warms.




7. Amstaffs
Just look at that little face. Such sweet dogs. He's my mom's baby and we think he might be an Amstaff, but he could also be a Staffordshire Terrier or an American Pit Bull. They're all so closely related that it really doesn't matter except when it comes to my mom's homeowner's insurance, where we listed him as a "black and white short-hair canine cross." Suckas!




8. Amusement parks
I haven't been to an amusement park in years. Once I get past all the rampant obesity, grease, mullets and children that should be on leashes, I love it. Roller coasters, rides that spin endlessly, rides that drop you 30 stories outta nowhere, that swinging pirate ship thing -- they can make me pee my pants in terror, but it's just so fun.




9. Australia
Except for that horrible plane ride (which was actually made less horrible because I drugged myself to near oblivion), I'd go back in a second. It was just incredible.




10. Afterlife/angels
I love reading about, hearing about and watching shows about angels, ghosts, spirits, etc. From sci-fi shows that debunk reported "sightings" to your own blogs about spooky hauntings to high-quality television like the Ghost Whisperer (high quality, I say!), I just can't stop myself from getting caught up it it all. I must have inherited this kookiness from my mother.

How others define me

On J's Tumblr this morning, I saw that she shared one of those astrology pieces that define each person's philosophies, character and personality by their signs. I love being put into a neatly define little box like that (or I just love destroying them), so I couldn't help but indulge.

As a December 20 baby, I'm technically a Sagittarius, but I'm on the cusp of being a Capricorn. This means I read both analyses and pick the one I like better.



The Sagittarian Woman

Sagittarian women are friendly, sociable, and outgoing.
Yes. Mostly because I drink a lot, but it's kinda true nonetheless.

They have a reputation for being blunt speakers who don't worry how their opinions will be received.
Completely. Even though I'm well aware that being "blunt" is almost always code word for "bitch." Thanks for that.

Like their male counterparts, Sagittarian women love to travel and are curious about other cultures.
Not so much. It REALLY depends on where we're going (beachy and alcohol-y) and if I can fly first class (unlikely).

Like other fire-sign females, they are not afraid to take risks.
Since my first instinct here was, "Define risks," I think I just answered a resounding NO to this one as well.

Sagittarian women are often tall and svelte, though they have a tendency to put on weight in middle age.
Tall!? Did you just laugh as much as I did? Not laughing so much at the middle-age weight gain thing, though. I don't think I want to be a Sagittarius.

They have a fashion style all their own.
This makes me think of the time my mom showed up to my gymnastics place dressed in full-on camo gear. For no reason! WTF is wrong with her? Since that's my frame of reference for unique "style," I feel like this could be either a good or bad statement.



Well, I'm not loving the Sagittarius classification. Capricorn? Your turn. (Andy, pay attention.)



The Capricorn Woman

Capricorn women have a cool, standoffish charm.
Wait, my standoffish-ness is still charming? Win!

Elegant and glacial, they may seem unapproachable.
Okay, we get it, we're aloof.

Actually, this is a mask to hide their vulnerability.
Nu uh! I'm totally a hardass all the time and I don't feel any ounce of vulnerability! (You guys like me, right?)

Capricorn individuals are afraid of "losing face."
Sigh. Agreed.

They fear criticism and can't abide being forced to be self-critical.
I don't so much "fear it" as much as I sometimes "want to slap someone because of it."

This woman is competitive, though she is usually more interested in besting her own efforts than those of rivals.
I'm super competitive. Unless I'm playing Kart with Jay and Billy. (Which is to say, I at least know my own limits.)

If she is not involved in an outside career, she will turn her home into a career.
Oh, I'm sure I would. When I freelanced for a year and worked from home, I was so miserable that I turned into creepy domestic lady who started making dinner at 3pm.

She is a good, if overly strict, mother and expects the best from her children.
Sounds like that's how I would be. Of course, I'm still not totally sold on the idea of kids, but if I were, I bet I'd totally set up unreasonable expectations for them and strictly punish them when they forget to put two olives in my vodka. GO TO YOUR ROOM.


Well, what about you?

Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces

This is the email I woke up to

From: Dave
To: Elle
Date: Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 8:49am
Subject: Hmm, what should I name this?

I'm gonna go with "Queen Elle." :-)

Note: Right edge of bed not visible because the comforter is now covering a good two feet of it.

-----

Yep, that's me in there. Dave wakes up an hour before I do and, apparently, this is how he chose to spend his time this morning.

I might as well admit it. I'm a cover-stealer. Actually, I feel like the covers are weighted on one side and they just happen to slide more and more towards my side of the bed through no fault of my own. (The whole "no fault of my own" is kind of a life theme for me.)

Anyway, this was the IM conversation that followed...


Me: You little fucker, you took a picture of me this morning??

Dave: Yes ma'am.
Dave: I could set a bomb off in the apartment and you wouldn't know. I even opened the blinds to get more light. You didn't even shift.

Me: (...)

Dave: The funniest part is that you fight me when I try to get more covers, not knowing you have about six feet of covers on your other side. You always grab from me, not the other side.

Me: Well.
(say something brilliant...)
Me: I DO WHAT I WANT.
(well done.)

Dave: I'm not kidding you when I say I woke up shivering this morning because I had no covers.

Me: Maybe you should be more proactive in your cover preservation.

Dave: I tried to take some. You took them back.
Dave: I'd rather freeze to death than piss you off in the morning.

Smart man.

Whatever happened to being "cruel to be kind"?

I came across a link this afternoon that made me hesitate before clicking through. It seemed a little twisted... Made me a little uncomfortable... CERTAINLY wasn't something I'd normally click...

www.operationnice.com

Operation Nice? As in "be nice to people"?

Well, I think we can all tell from my past posts that I can be a giant asshole. Short-tempered, foul-mouthed, inpatient and judgmental. That about covers it. This whole "nice" thing just seems like a pretty unsurmountable challenge.

So, I decided to try to come up with a list of nice things I've done lately:


1. When two old ladies got on the Red Line last week, I gave them my seat.
2. I replaced the toilet paper roll yesterday so Dave wouldn't have to.


Wow. I'm pathetic.

In contrast, here are the nice things people have done for me in the last week alone:


1. Three different men (different times) let me out of the elevator before them. One even said, "Ladies first," which made him sound a little dated, but it was still pretty sweet.

2. While my petite frame awkwardly struggled to carry a big Crate & Barrel box through my lobby to the elevators while blindly juggling my key fob to let me through the door, a guest visiting our building immediately asked if he could hold my package while I let myself in. And he wasn't being pervy.

3. When I bought a few things from Urban Outfitters and waited for the computer to accept my credit card, the sales girl blurted out, "Your ring is beautiful, by the way. I can't help but stare at it."

4. Even though our elevator bay serves floors 26-51 and we're all in a big damn hurry in the morning to get to work, a random girl smiled warmly at me when I halted everything to get on the elevator, instead of sighing at the fact that she had to make an extra stop during the mad rush.

5. After I wrote some copy for her, a co-worker made the extra effort to check back in with me, genuinely thank me for my work and let me know that our company gained 4 new customers in one day from my writing.

6. This weekend, my college roommate is driving five hours to my hometown just to attend one of our wedding showers. Did I mention she's doing this alone with her 14-month-old child? Amazing.

7. When I went to the pool on Sunday, all the dickheads stayed away.

8. While I was at the bar last night, a random guy was buying himself a drink next to me and saw that I was just about empty. Rather than bothering with cheesy flirting, he turned my beer bottle to see what I was drinking, ordered me another beer, paid for it, smiled and walked away. Free booze with no strings attached. The Nicest of Nice.

9. When I made a mistake (keeping that intentionally vague), my sister offered to take the blame so I wouldn't have to deal with any juvenile drama that may have resulted.

10. When I was pissed about something unrelated to that mistake, I called said sister and she actually listened, offered support and offered to step in to help alleviate the situation. WHO IS THIS PERSON? She's still a 21-year-old, slightly neurotic, slightly ADD, fairly busy individual, but she's been far less self-absorbed and pretty kick-ass lately. Don't tell her I said that. Wait, DO tell her. Let her know I'm being nice.


Okay, I'm going to stop there. Clearly, people have been nicer to me in the past week than I've never been to anyone, ever. So, maybe I'll try to tone down the attitude a bit.

Just for the next week.

During the hours of 8 and 6.

Regarding people who actually aren't begging me to curse them out.

And as long as I'm not PMS-y.

Yep, that's a good start. Baby steps!

Deliberate Brutal Love Master, No More

The last time I took a personality test, it classified me as a Deliberate Brutal Love Master. My stark opposite in this test was the Random Gentle Sex Dreamer, which, frankly just sounds like a slutty, unfocused hippie. Not that DBLM is much better...

I mean, look at the freaking picture that goes with it:



And some of the commentary...

Sharp. Hardened. Dominating ... Like the drunken housewife chucking Heinekens at her no-good husband, you've got a lot of energy ... It's how you handle yourself in your relationships that gets you the 'brutal' tag. Controlling? Imperious? Overbearing? Yes, please. ... When the time comes you'll make a fine divorcee.

Ouch. So, I'm a battleaxe, apparently. I even took that test 4 TIMES. Got "battleaxe" every time, even when I lied and tried to trick it into calling me something nicer.

So when Ang posted another personality quiz, I saw a chance to redeem myself.

The results?

I am a "Dynamic Architect."

That is MUCH better. Details below, if you care.

Dynamic Architect

The Architect in me...
Your preference for concrete, visually pleasing things, combined with your confidence and your respect for order make you an ARCHITECT.

• You are logical and detail-oriented, which allows you to get things done efficiently.
• You are quite sure of yourself, so that you tend to know the best ways of doing things.
  
• Having a routine and sticking to it is important to you; you find comfort in tradition and familiarity.
  
• Self-reliance is something in which you take great pride—you are confident and down to earth.
  
• You have a basic faith in yourself in many areas of your life, allowing you to be self-assured when facing challenges.
  
• Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts
• You are balanced in your approach to problem-solving, not letting your emotions hold you up.
  
• You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.
  
• Your eye for aesthetic beauty and style indicates that you know a lot about design.
  
• You are a fashion maven, up on trends, but distinct in your own style.
  
• You don't follow trends, you set them.
  

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.


The dynamic aspect...

• As someone who is DYNAMIC, you do not have a hard time meeting new people, and you have a bunch of close friends.
• You are not overly concerned with what others may think about you, which leaves you free to be thoroughly involved in the world around you.
• There are those who find being around people exhausting—but not you! Interacting with others, whether at a party or in conversation, gives you energy.
• You have a strong sense of what the world is like and how it should be.
• You have enormous respect for those who have earned their success, and have little patience for those who try to bend the rules or ride on the coattails of others' hard work.
• Believing in the importance of integrity and hard work doesn't stop you from believing that people will do the right thing—you know that people are good at heart.
• You sometimes have trouble understanding why others feel the way they do, but it doesn't stop you from having faith and trust in those around you.
• Part of what makes engaging with people so interesting for you is that you occasionally learn something new about yourself or about a problem you're having when discussing things with others.
• Your strong worldview leads you to believe that people shouldn't rely on their emotions so much when making decisions.

I'll take it!