If I got pregnant at this point in my life, here are the things that would run through my head:
1. Shit.
2. HOW did I lose the bet that my sister would be the first one to get knocked up?
3. When do babies' motor skills kick in so they can wrap their fingers around a bottle of wine and deliver it without dropping it?
4. I foresee money being a slight problem. Do babies really NEED things like cribs and formula and dental care? Because Mommy NEEDS TiVo, Cole Haan and Mana.
5. Oh em gee, what if I have a baby with red hair? Damn Dave and his recessive ginge genes.
6. I don't care how ridiculous this sounds, I WILL pluck my Italian baby's unibrow.
7. I vow to never bring my massive, obnoxious stroller on a crowded bus...
8. ...However, I might bring my obnoxious stroller into a crowded bar.
9. If you don't like your baby, can you trade it in for a pair of shoes or a nice restaurant gift card?
10. Goodbye, sleep. God, I'll miss you. More than you'll never know.
Dear birth control: I love you.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
10 things I'd be thinking if I got preggo
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7 comments:
I try never EVER to think about it AT ALL.
As in NEVER EVER. Not for a VERY LONG TIME.
#8 is the best
There are literally 10 babies from people within a 50 foot radius of where I sit at work. They're everywhere...
Marie: I hear ya!
Brick: Yeah, because you can probably picture it happening... Along with a visit from Child Protective Services.
Allie: They are definitely taking over the world. I love my friends' babies and the occasional co-worker baby, but the random ones on buses? NO. DOES NOT BELONG.
umm. WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH NUMBER 5?! you should be so lucky
As a parent, I got a kick out of your list. Good post!
Total agreement on 1, 6, 7 and 10.
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