My future, all on paper

Along with my obsession with crime shows, I also have an obsession with psychics. Shows like Ghost Whisperer, psychics like Sylvia Browne, people like those creepy mini-psychics from Children of the Paranormal. All of it. So, as you can imagine, I further indulged this interest once and actually visited a psychic myself.

I bring this up now because as I was packing up my apartment this weekend, I came across a sheet of paper with a lot of random things written on it. I stared for a second, but soon realized it was my notes from this psychic venture. Yep, everything she told me, I wrote down.

I also remember parts of it pretty well...

I was in college and my roommate had a friend who swore by this one psychic. Roommate and friend were going to visit this woman, and did I want to go too? Sure, why the hell not.

We each went one by one into the basement. (It sounds creepier than it was.) When it was my turn, I clutched my crisp white sheet of paper and my black pen as I gingerly tip toed down the stairs, trying not to fall on my ass.

"I've read you before."

Huh?

"I've read you before, haven't I," the psychic said, as soon as I walked in. It wasn't a question.

"Um, no, actually, I've NEVER been read before," I laughed nervously.

Got off to a good start, wouldn't you say?

I don't remember the actual course of the conversation, but here's how her predictions seemed to play out.


THINGS THE PSYCHIC GOT RIGHT

• In regards to my love life, the number 9 enters very strongly. (I got married in September.)
• Illinois would be very important in my life.
• There will be a female in my husband's family that I'll really like.
• I will wear an expensive ring on my finger.
• My sister will have some big changes happening. (I'm thinking it was the whole rehab thing, not the whole "I'm dying my hair PINK" thing.)
  

THINGS THE PSYCHIC MIGHT GET RIGHT

• The name James will be very important in my life.
• My husband's success will be powerful and he'll be in business.
  
• My health will be fine and I'll live a long life.
• I'll have 2 kids of the same sex and they'll go to private school.
• Our household income will be $160-185k.
  
• I'll have 4 houses in my lifetime, none of them in Missouri and one will have a pond out back.
• A brightly colored car is important. (Um, flashy-much?)
  
• My dad has changes with a 4.
• The name Terry matters, something about his signature on paper being significant.
• I'll be getting a $2,000 check (which one of you hasn't paid up?)
  

THINGS THE PSYCHIC GOT WAY, WAY WRONG

• I would be proposed to within 7-10 months of this meeting. (Try 4 years.)
• I would own my own law firm. (Um, I may have accidentally let it slip that I was going to law school. She just fed off that. My bad.)
• I would have a big wedding, maybe outside.
• My dad wouldn't agree with my next big move.
  

Apparently, the psychic mistook me for a rich, flashy, snotty, eager-to-marry co-ed.

Fun, huh? I'd totally go to another one.