Mom learns the Goog

I taught my mom Gmail the other day. It was the single most hilarious thing I have ever done. And that includes all of my attempts at cooking.

Once I set her up with an email address, I introduced her to G-chat -- keeping her on the phone of course, as I walked her through some of the features.

For example, I showed her emoticons, to which she responded, "Oooooo, they're little computer tattoos!" Sure. I figured that enthusiasm was enough of a sign that she was ready for a group chat.


Now, so you know, my sister took over and was typing everything just to show my mom how chatting worked. This is an example of the little gems I get when I talk to my sister online:


Sister: Poop is a palindrome.

Me: Wow.

Sister: Wow is a palindrome too.



So we were really having a conversation with my sister instead of my mom, but you can pinpoint the exact moment Mom took over.



Me: Kid, why don't you use Gmail?

Dave: Yeah, seriously, Gmail is the best.

"Mom": Uhhhh. I plead the fifth.
"Mom": I use my school email.

Me: Just switch.

Dave: Do Gmail. You could probably get [email addresses based on sister's name]. Easy to remember.

"Mom": Or YOURMOMROCKS

Dave: Probably taken already.

"Mom": Or ElleMichelleIsAWhore

Dave: I already reserved that one.
Dave: In case we get divorced.

Me: I WILL KICK YOU IN THE BALLS

"Mom": Mom is LOLing right now. I'm teaching her Internet lingo. She was actual ROFL.

Me: This is definitely the most hilarious thing ever.

Mom: good-by and love to all

Looks like real Mom has decided to make an appearance! And I guess this is her awkward way of saying that she's totally over G-chat.

Me: Oh, you're done now?

Mom: i can only tyoe so much

Me: Okay

Mom: ps this was the big kahuna speaking!!!

I have NO clue where this moniker came from, but my mom has dubbed herself "the big kahuna" ever since my engagement, when she sent us an email through our wedding website that came from "the big kahuna." I was like, who the fuck is that? Anyway, I digress.

Me: hahahaha. You're so freaking weird.

Mom: you hang up first

Me: It's not a phone...

Mom: Did you hang up?

Dave: Oh, God.

Me: Just close the window, Mom.
Mom left.


I was going to tell her we need to do the video chat, but after conversations like this, I don't know if I want to. It's FAR more hilarious to watch her decipher the Internet. Hopefully, there will be more to come.