Pity party, table for 1

Well, my birthday is on Saturday. As I mentioned in my last post, I have mixed feelings about this. To sum it all up...

December birthdays SUCK.

December birthdays for Jewtherans, however, suck the most. (Jewtheran = Jew + Lutheran = Hanukkah + Christmas = Me. Oy vey.)

It's not the combo birthday/Hanukkah/Christmas present as much as it is the whole feeling of inconvenience surrounding the celebration. I guess I get it, since my birthday is a bit of an inconvenience for me too. We're all busy around the holidays, making sure we get our holiday cards out on time, shopping for presents, making sure we don't forget anyone, wrapping those presents, attending parties, planning dinners, wrapping up end-of-the-year projects at work -- it's a busy freaking time. And right while everyone's in total crazed holiday mode, BAM. Birthday. It's often an "oh shit" moment.

For most birthday celebrations, it's a much different feeling/celebration because there's nothing else to focus on. We are able to not just remember the birthday, but also plan something special, put some careful thought into a birthday card and come together for one pointed event (read: drunk fest).

December birthdays are different. The plans seem more harried, the cards are an afterthought and the excitement has more to do with the almost-here Chrismahanukwanzakah. In the past, some people have forgotten to acknowledge my birthday, others run out and pick up a card ON my birthday before thrusting it into my hands. I'm not saying I'm more important than Jesus or the festival of lights, but, man, do I hate feeling like an inconvenience. And in typical first-born fashion, I simply don't want to share my birthday with the holidays anymore! Eff off holidays! My turn!

And, yes, I'm aware that all of this makes me a whiny, bratty grouch. Bah fucking humbug.

So that's how I feel about my birthday, Internet. I want to like it, but I simply don't. I'll probably be a royal pain in the ass for the next two weeks, so to keep the bitterness to a minimum, I'll do what I do best. Drinky drinky!

Another (less Intervention-worthy) option is to change my birthday to April. Nothing happens in April! No one else I know has an April birthday, there's no major holiday that month, it's not close enough to summer to be filled with chaos. April is the perfect birthday month. Might not be a bad idea... I'll think about it, and if I do feel like demanding a party, presents and undivided attention that month, I'll be sure to let you know.