Please explain

Here's something I just don't get:

Tilda Swinton.

What is her appeal?

To be fair, I've only seen her in one movie. She was fine in it, I guess. I may have had a hard time getting past the pastiness to judge fairly.

Just to make sure I wasn't going to be A Huge Asshole here, I actually Googled Tilly (let's call her that) to see if she has some kind of condition that accounts for her strange appearance and/or life choices. Nothing. So it looks like I have free range to make as many harsh comments as I want.

Let's start with the complexion. I think there's a fine line between "porcelain white" and "Casper-esque." Tilly falls in the latter category, as if her life is a constant audition for a role in the next Twilight movie. It's borderline sickly and I don't get it.

And let's not forget about her fashion sense. For reasons I can't fathom, fashion critics think she's edgy and avant guard. I think she usually looks like she was dressed in the dark by a manic 8-year-old who thinks that wrapping yourself in a ratty blanket sufficient for the red carpet.







What's with the nude-colored theme? It's not exactly helping with the whole washed-out look.

It's not just her looks that are odd, though. Her personal life like some freakishly well-adjusted Jerry Spring show. (Is that reference still relevant these days? Eh. I'm old school.)

First, there's the father of her twins, John Byrne. He's an old guy in his late 60s who is described as her "permanent partner." I think he just putters around the house, painting and taking care of the kids while she slinks around the world with her 30-year-old boyfriend. Don't feel bad for Byrne, though -- he's got a girlfriend too. Everyone knows about everyone else and, somehow, they're all cool with it.

Um, okay?

I think I just need someone to explain her appeal to me. Maybe her appeal is that no one actually "gets" her, like we're all just watching some alien life form float around our planet to see how it adjusts to Earth life. I don't know.

So, what am I missing here?