I'm baaaack -- Wedding Part 1

The wedding is OVER.

Thank God. Don't get me wrong -- it was a blast. But I am so, so glad that it's finally done.

You may have already seen some wedding pictures on angilio and TKTC (and Facebook, if you're one of my true stalkers), but in case you haven't, I'm going to recap the weekend's events.

It's almost like I'm forcing you to sit down and watch uncomfortably as I roll through footage of my family vacations in which you know no one and, instead of paying real attention, you power through your gin & tonic hoping it will make the viewing less tedious. Strap yourselves in, kids. This is going to be a sloppy, drunken ride. For all of us.

PART ONE: REHEARSAL & REHEARSAL DINNER

Those are a lot of fucking chairs. This does not help lessen my anxiety.

Dave, you talk. I'll just prop myself up over here. Is it drinky time yet?

Hold Grandma up down the aisle, Brother. You know she's probably blitzed already.

Check out that swagger from my BFF/Bridesmaid Ryan.

I know how you feel, kid. Just run like the dickens. It's a short aisle.

See? We can be cute.

The maturity of my sister: She opts for bunny ears instead of the middle finger.

Oh, heeeey, drunkie.

Me with Uncle Assclown. I'm listening to Gwen's advice and smiling my ass off. No. Matter. What.

Hey, here's a good idea: After drinking at the dinner, let's all go out to another BAR.

Gimme.

I'll leave you with that. Stay tuned...