Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I'm still the same jackass I was six months ago

A flashback from a post I wrote a while ago about moving from the Loop to River North


Bums Vs. Tourists
Living in the heart of the Loop has its benefits: easy access to every single train line, easy access to cabs, traveling in the opposite direction of rush hour every day... OK, it looks like that's it. Overall, living downtown kinda sucks. The whole place shuts down at 6pm, those super close trains are super loud, rent is ridiculously high while amenities are low, the Walgreens pharmacy isn't open on Sundays and (my favorite) the bums are numerous.

I've stepped over sleeping (dead?) bums when I've gotten off the train, I've been followed up State Street by relentless lunatics, I've been harassed for change outside my building, I've watched bums steal Bud Light from the 7-11, I've been yelled at by schizophrenics... the list goes on.

And THAT is one main reason why we're moving. That, plus we can get more for our money a mile or two away in River North. And while this new neighborhood of ours in River North doesn't have nearly as many bums, it does have something else.


I would hate to run into someone like me if I were a tourist. I'm impatient, snotty and quick to judge. I roll my eyes when they don't know when to cross the street; I scowl when they get on the train and linger in front of the doors; I cringe at their fanny packs and oversize t-shirts; I sigh when they don't know how to use their CTA cards on the bus; I marvel at their lack of fashion sense.

So I've been asking myself, what's worse? Tourists or bums? Would I rather get asked for money or asked for directions? I can't give out either, so maybe that doesn't matter.

I know I'll miss the convenience of the Loop and the fact that tourists rarely venture into my part of it. But in the end, I wouldn't worry about a tourist stumbling in my path, stinking of booze, grabbing my purse and galumphing away while slurring obscenities at the parked cars.

So I'm going to try to be more tolerant of tourists. That, or I'll just make sure I have a good wine buzz 24/7. I'm a lot nicer when I'm drunk.


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