Monday, February 18, 2013
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Monday, December 5, 2011
Mostly because I'm still desperate for the social sharing of The Goog and I need to believe that Tumblr is the answer.
So, let's be friends.
I'm promise to be more brief and thereby less obnoxious.
(That last part is a lie.)
Posted by Lisa at 8:00 PM
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Scene: Talking on the phone with my mom one weekend morning.
Me: Yeah, I just got woken up by my wine being delivered.
Mom: Oh, most people wake up with coffee, but I guess, with you, it's wine.
Me: I guess?
Me: Well, the delivery guy was terrified of Rocco. He rushed my signature and didn't even check my ID!
Me: What if I was underage??
Mom: What if you were an FBI agent??
Me: Ri--what, what?
Me: So... Basically, you're saying it's more believable that I'm an FBI agent than that I'm under 21?
Me: Whatever, you're almost 60.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
- Edward and Bella say "I love you." About 4 second later, he dumps her. Bye, bitch.
- To illustrate the passing of time, we see Bella sitting in a chair while the camera swirls around her and the months pass by on the screen.
- Bella has crazy screaming dreams and her dad rushes into her room to comfort her every time. Something about her being a grown woman makes me feel weird about this.
- Bella gets all bad-assy after the breakup and jumps on a random motorcycle with a random dude who looks more like a teddy bear than the murderous thug we're supposed to think he is. AND she does this even though Ghost-Edward tells her not to. Bye, bitch.
- We realized that the chick who plays Bella's BFF Jessica is the same girl who appears in Up in the Air. Thanks, IMDB!
- Vampires still run fast.
- JACOB FINALLY CUTS HIS HAIR. I guess turning into a werewolf does that to a guy.
- Speaking of Jacob, he totally parkours up Bella's house to get into her bedroom. Pretty sure he was shirtless.
- Bella goes off the deep end -- literally -- when she hurls herself off a cliff into the murky water below. She pops up, floats around for a while on the surface, then "slams" her head into a rock... I CALL BULLSHIT. Do you know how hard it is to move fast in the water? I don't think you could knock yourself out if you tried. But, no matter, because a shirtless Jacob saves her.
- Bella continues to be depressed, at which point I urge her to invest in some Lexapro. And maybe take a shower.
- Bella keeps acting like she's into Jacob and going to kiss him, but never does. Because she hates abs?
- Bella keeps trying to email Edward's sister with the bad hair (I guess bad hair is a major theme in the movie), but all emails go to that goddamn Mailer Daemon. Send fail, Bella.
- Buuuuut, Alice still shows up at Bella's door because Alice see the future! And she saw Bella throw herself off the cliff! And get knocked unconscious! And die! ...Except that last part didn't happen. Geez, Alice, take a lesson from Sylvia Browne and get your psychic shit together.
- Bella and Alice fly to Italy via Virgin airlines, which Angie says had monitors on the seats and you can message people in other seats, all creepy-like. I hope that's not a lie. because that sounds awesome.
- At the end of the movie, Bella wants to be turned into a vampire, which Edward says he'll do "on one condition." ...... "Marry me." I feel like it would have been fantastic is Bella was like, "Look... you're great... but, I mean... being immortal and committing to marriage is, like, a big thing. And have you seen Jacob's abs?"