Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I have never lived alone.
I just realized that.
I went from my parents' house to my college dorm, where I lived with the girl who became my best friend. Then I moved into an on-campus apartment with two other girls. After that, I moved into an apartment with Dave. And here I am.
My god, for the last 10 years, I haven't even had my own BEDROOM.
But that is about to change for 6 weeks, when Dave goes to China for research work.
He leaves in less than a month and I'm just now processing what that will mean for me. Mostly, I'm going to miss him a disgusting amount. But part of me? Well, part of me is looking forward to this flash of complete and utter self-reliance. I'll cook for myself, parent by myself and focus exclusively on myself. (Okay, fine, sometimes I do that last part whether he's around or not.)
It's a strange feeling. I don't want him to go, but I do want to see how this Miss Independent thing will play out...
Let's do an over-under on my sloppy, drunk mental breakdown that will occur in which I have full-on conversations with my dog, name my cell phone, dress my pillows in Dave's sweatshirts and pass out at the table every night into a bowl of cereal, the only food I can cook.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Have you ever missed your period but come up with negative pregnancy tests and thought "What if I have some sort of period-preventing tumor?" but then would that really be so bad because periods suck anyway....?
Okay, just me then.
I wrote that last week when I thought my period was late. Turns out, it just has a mind of it's own and shows up whenever the hell it feels like it, even if that's 5 days after it's supposed to.
Before this little incident, the possibility of pregnancy never seemed quite so real. I'd been figuring, well, if I get knocked up, I guess I could live with that.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Reality set in and I realized how deeply in the bowels of hell I would really be if there were a little person growing in me. I have a job. That I LIKE. A lot. I also have a husband that I like. A lot. I have a dog and a life and a shoe addiction that I also like. A lot.
It's not that I hate children. I just hate change -- especially now. Things are goooood. More than that, things are about to get pretty exciting around here: Dave and I are planning a trip to Paris this summer, I will be facing some professional changes come June, Dave's starting work in the fall... That's enough change for me right about now. Throw a mini-me into the mix and take away my wine, and you've got a certain recipe for the apocalypse.
So, I've snapped back to reality, much to my mother's dismay, I'm sure. She'll just have to settle for having a grand-puppy for
a few many more years.