Reasons to have babies

1. Instant blogging material. When I run out of blogging ideas, I can just talk about what silly/hilarious/idiotic/embarrassing thing my kid did. And you will EAT IT UP. (Interestingly, it's just not as charming to discuss my own public tantrums.)

2. Smug know-it-all attitude. I'll get to start every sentence with, "Oh, well, as a PARENT..." I believe this will especially help me at work, as my entire job focuses on child care. Let's hope parent status = credibility = high six-figure salary.

3. They can fetch wine so I don't have to get up. Twist-off caps are the new black, ya'll!

4. They can fetch beer so I don't have to get up. Get Mommy a cold one.

5. They can fetch vodka so I don't have to get up. Well, it LOOKS like water.



Reasons not to have babies:

1. Everything else.

Another reason not to have kids?

I'm the Dot linked to a creepy-but-intriguing site where you can get an idea of what your future baby will look like. Since I've always maintained that any child coming from Dave and I will be a hairy, four-eyed, unibrowed little Italian, I decided to check it out. Here's our brood.














Um, yeah. Maybe I'll have better luck with celebrities.


Me + David Beckham

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Me + Ryan Phillippe

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Me + Jake Gyllenhaal

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Me + Barack Obama

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Okay, that Beckham baby is actually cute. But who punched my Gyllenhaal baby in both of her eyes? How come my Phillippe baby looks like a Republican ginge? And why, oh why, do all my kids have wonk eye?

MakeMeBabies.com