Professional Purgatory

I'm at a point in my coming-out-of-retirement job search that is nothing short of awkward. Uncomfortable. Uncertain.

I don't like it.

I imagine it's a lot like dating a few different guys at once -- one of which you really, really like, but you're still unsure about how he feels. If my job search were a relationship, this is where I'd be with Suitor #1. Let's call him Barry.

Barry and I have flirted before, but we've been on 3 actual interviews dates. He's out of my league, but I'm going for it anyway. Sure, it seems like he might be ready to make it official, but he moves soooo slowly. All my cards are on the table and the final decision rests with Barry now. It's a waiting game. Will he call or won't he? Should I wait? How can I not? I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THIS RELATIONSHIP IS GOING, BARRY. I know you told me you need more time, but I'm dying over here.

In the meantime, there's Suitor #2. We'll call him Sam. Sam and I are going on interview date number 2 this week, and I'm still sorting through my feelings. He means well, he tries hard and he's made it clear we could be together for the long haul. He's got a lot more money than Barry, but less personality. And I don't know how long he's willing to wait while I wait for an official proposal or rejection from my first love.

Then, there's Suitor #3: Miles. Miles is like my boy toy. I'm not terribly interested in him, but I like having him around as an option. We've got our second interview date this week too. Dude can't really afford my tastes, but he adores me and I like the attention. I'm charming the pants off him and using his affection to fill the void I feel from Barry's silence. I know. Pathetic.

Finally, there's Potential Suitor #4. Carl. We have a mutual friend and even though I know nothing about him, that's good enough for me to keep him in the running. She likes him, I'd like him. We could be great together.

And as if this isn't enough of a mind fuck, I'm still giving my number out to other suitors too. Maybe "The One" is still out there.

Or maybe I'm just ridiculously neurotic.

Either way, I'm hoping this mess with all be straightened out within a month so I can get the hell out of professional purgatory. I guess I'm just not meant to play the field.