Friday, August 14, 2009

Why daytime TV sucks

When you're home all day looking for jobs, you've often got the TV on in the background. I don't know about you, but I never really paid attention to the types of shows on during the day, until now.

These programs are realllly catering to the "I'm home during the day because I'm unemployed, broke and desperate" crowd.

This is what I feel like the episode descriptions should say...


Cheaters
Hey, you. Yeah, you, the one sitting at home alone with your thoughts. Where's your significant other right now? Work? That's what you think. He's staying late tonight too, you say? That's what this wife thought too, until our PI caught him with ANOTHER WOMAN. Yep, your spouse is totally cheating on you. Think about it. Not like you've got much else to do...

Deal or No Deal
Free money! Now THAT'S a job. Why aren't you getting in on this??

A Baby Story
You're at home right now, lounging by the pool, taking naps, playing with nail polish, eating Pringles, browsing the Interwebs. Know what you could be doing? Vomiting, peeing every two seconds and battling contractions. Isn't it time you started thinking about having a baby?

Judge Judy/Alex/Joe Brown
You're just one bounced check away from landing on one of these shows. Don't fight it.

9 comments:

crv said...

my absolute favorite are the maury paternity episodes. there was some chick on this week who had tested TEN DUDES to find out who da baby daddy be.

i like to lay on the couch eating pretzels feeling superior. such is life of the unemployed.

Shellbell said...

i never understood a baby story's appeal... they are showing the last month of pregnancy and the first days of a baby, those are the 2 ugliest times periods!!!

Andy said...

My gf loooovvess Cheaters. I have grown to love it, in a weird sort of way. The very presence of the show means there are terrible people out there needing to get caught.

Kelly said...

Totally agree with you on A Baby Story. If you watch that it will make you never want to have kids. This is especially true after you're already pregnant. Then you get to sit there thinking "I really have to do that in 3 months".

Bayjb said...

I hate daytime TV, but with captions like these, I would watch.

Whiskeymarie said...

During the day is the only time I can watch reruns of horrible shows like the "Real houswives of ______" without my husband knowing.
It's my dirty little secret...

The Constant Complainer said...

I swear to goodness that the Maury paternity test shows are the best. NOT. Even though I make fun of them, whenever I'm home, I'm like, "Uh, OK, yeah, I guess I'll watch it."

And yeah, "Cheaters" is strange. If anything, I'll TiVo it, because I can't stand all the lame lead-up. I'd rather just see the confrontation.

Hey, but what about "Days of Our Lives" - you didn't mention that!

RebeccaC said...

You've forgetten a couple:

Martha/DIY/Anycraftshow:
Hey there....not only are you broke and jobless, you're also lazy and talentless because you COULD be decoupaging a baby crib and simultaneously knitting your man a sweater whilst baking a cake. But you're not. You suck. A lot.

All Soap Operas:
Drama, drama, drama, drama, SEX!!!, drama, drama, drama, drama, drama, MURDER!!!!!, drama, drama, drama, drama, drama, drama, PATERNITY TEST! DRUGS!, drama, drama, drama

elle michelle said...

Carrie: You are my inspiration!

Shellbell: RIGHT?

Andy: Capricorn has you whipped and I love it.

Kelly: When I get pregs, I'm pretty sure I will never, ever watch that show.

Bayjb: Anything can SEEM entertaining. ;-)

Marie: Um, I love Real Housewives of Anything.

Complainer: I don't watch soaps! Am I missing out?

Rebecca: Oh my god, you are AWESOME.

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