When you're unemployed, your full-time job is finding a job... and maybe drinking.
You have a celebratory drink for the new, exciting possibilities. You have a depressed drink for not having a steady income. You have an optimistic drink for the economy. You have a terrified drink for not being able to pay your rent. You have a "calm the fuck down" drink to keep the panic at bay. You have an encouraging drink because you KNOW that you're amazing at your job.
You just drink.
Of course, the Catch-22 here is that drinking costs money. Jobs make money, but you don't have one of those. So it's time for sacrifices.
You quietly switch out your Ketel One for Silver Dragon. You stop going out to bars in favor of a cheaper night in with an even cheaper six-pack of beer. And you actually consider buying BOXED WINE.
Alcohol isn't the only area where you have to make some adjustments.
- You realize you'll probably have to settle for a one-bedroom when you move instead of the two-bedroom you've been banking on.
- You start buying Pantene instead of the John Frieda collection.
- You kiss your Dior eye cream goodbye.
- You start wondering if it's really worth it for the $50/month birth control pill that you forget to take half the time anyway.
- You consider jobs that start with "h" and end in "ooker."
- And, this one might be the hardest to swallow, you can't spend irresponsible amounts of money on shoes and clothes.
That's right, folks. It's time for some sacrifices. But there is one sacrifice I will not make:
I will NOT refer to Hilarious Co-Worker as anything but Hilarious Co-Worker.
We may not work together anymore, but some people are too funny to be bothered with literal meanings. So, HC, come hang out sometime. I'll supply the Ramen, you bring the booze.