Sunday, November 22, 2009

College football = no thanks


I really hate college football.

We didn't have football at my school (we were too busy ignoring the basketball and soccer teams), so I admit that I've never been caught up in the whole OMG IT'S GAME DAY SO IT'S TIME FOR KEGS AND EGGS AND PUT ON YOUR JERSEY BECAUSE WE'RE ALL SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT SPORTS AND ISN'T OUR SCHOOL JUST THE BEST!!?!

My problem with college football isn't that these schools funnel money into sports over academics or that it allows 18-year-old children to get puffed-up egos. My real problem is that these players suck.

Fumbling the ball, missing easy field goals, falling over their own two feet -- it's a painful amateur hour. Look, if you're not gonna be allowed to stay in college because of good grades, you damn well better be able to catch a ball.

This is why I prefer professional football. They don't make those kinds of mistakes and they have god-like abilities that mere mortals don't have. THAT is worth watching. If I wanted to watch a bunch of idiots run around and drop things, I'd have a kid, put him in a pee-wee league and actually go to the games.

So in my house, we do not watch football on Saturdays. We don't even acknowledge it. In fact, the only reason that I even remember that football happens on Saturdays is because I see Facebook status updates lamenting how so-and-so threw another interception. And that's fine with me. I don't think I'm missing much.

Instead, we're glued to the TV on Sundays, watching the Browns lose, the Colts win, Adrian Peterson score and Bill Bellichick wear those three-quarter length sweatshirts for no discernible reason. Good plays, good games, real talent. Toss a few beers and some good friends into the mix, and it's a recipe for an enjoyable Sunday.

6 comments:

Just Fine Just Dandy said...

Adrian Peterson played for OU!
(Alas, we suck this year)

But I understand you're point... I would definitely not be interested in football at all if I hadn't gone to a college where it was a way of life.

So I drank the kool aid and I root for my Sooners every Saturday - win or lose. But you won't find me watching any kind of football on Sunday.

Lindsay said...

Where do you think the NFL goes to find those talented players?

elle michelle said...

Just Fine Just Dandy: Hey, team loyalty is a good thing in my book, college or not. I'm married to a Browns fan, so I'm familiar with the "win or lose" scenario too... mostly "lose."

Lindsay: True, they find them in college. But college players rarely go from college straight to a starting spot in the NFL! It takes a while for them to catch up to the professionals. (PS, remember Peyton Manning's first year with the Colts? Ouch.)

Rebekah J said...

I'm right there with you, lady. Saturday football does nothing for me - we didn't have much by way of college football either, so maybe that's a contributing factor. But I do like me some NFL. Pitchers of Bud Light at the Highlander, 5 giant TVs, THAT is Sunday. Or even Thursday or Monday, if the Bears are playing...

The Constant Complainer said...

The Browns are absolutely terrible this year. No doubt. I live in Cleveland and there are more and more fans migrating to the Steelers every day...

amber said...

I HATE football!!

Related Posts with Thumbnails