Today, Jessi had the day off and she wanted a real "real housewives" day. As someone who watches the trainwreck that is the Bravo reality series, this is my specialty.
But, our adventures were decidedly less dramatic...
THE PLAN VERSUS THE REALITY
| Wake up late. | Woke up late. |
| Greet each other with European air kisses. | Said, "What up." |
| Be drunk by noon. | Left my apartment after noon. |
| Get chauffered around in a limo. | Drove us in my Jetta. |
| Run errands. | Ran errands. |
| Parade around with my baby while holding a glass of wine. | Paraded around Whole Foods with a glass of wine. |
| Get in a fight with each other. | Enjoyed each other's company. |
| Throw a drink in someone's face. | Spilled some wine in the kitchen. |
| Eat lunch outside and glare at people. | At lunch outside and smiled at Honeycat. |
| Get Botox. | Talked about Botox. |
| Spend thousands of dollars on frivolous things. | Spend tens of dollars on necessary things like food and booze. |
| Run into someone I hate. | Ran into a nice man who educated Jessi on the finer points of canned fish. |
I'll take my reality over theirs any day.
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6 comments:
This? Is the best Friday recap ever. I think this should be a weekly thing (minus maybe 1.5 handles of vodka...that could kill a horse). I no longer want to work on Fridays. That is the civilized day for drinking and getting shit done. Let it be so.
AMEN. See you next Friday. And if I have to show up at your office with wine, so be it.
Um if you take add ons to your Friday group, please let me know. I would even go just to watch you guys have that much fun in Whole Foods
OMG I miss you guys... almost as much as I
OSS that Whole Foods, which is to say massively. Not sure how anyone could live a store as much as I loved that Whole Foods.
PS thank you for explaining the mystery of the random tuna fish man in the odd hat/coat ensemble. Been wondering about him since this posted on FB
OMG I miss you guys... almost as much as I
OSS that Whole Foods, which is to say massively. Not sure how anyone could live a store as much as I loved that Whole Foods.
PS thank you for explaining the mystery of the random tuna fish man in the odd hat/coat ensemble. Been wondering about him since this posted on FB
This is why I am loving my summer of unemployment/retirement. I may not have the bankroll of the "Real Housewives", but I can drink and live better than those chicks any day of the week.
Literally, because I'm not working.
Any. Day.
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