All the things

My current Facebook status:

Happy Daughter / Mother / Breast Cancer Awareness / Puppy Dog / Wearing-White-After-Labor-Day / Gambling / Palm Tree / Hipster Appreciation / Dyslexia / Tea Party / Pygmy-Goat-Riding-A-Unicycle Day/Week! I love/hate all/some of those things. If you do too, repost, like, comment on, share, print, frame and worship this status.


amirite?


PS - The palm tree mention is throw to my mom.  HI, MOM.

Expert travelers...or something

Dave's been on Long Island for the past 10 days and is almost halfway through his business training for work. (Yeah, it's about as exciting as it sounds.) Meanwhile, I have successfully fed myself and kept this apartment from looking like a home on Hoarders, so things are going QUITE well over here too.

Tomorrow, though, I leave my dear Chicago and venture off to Denver for some work training of my own...whatever that will include. I'll only be there for a few days, but I'll be renting a car and hopefully only getting lost 5 or 6 times. Really, anything under 10 would be rad.

Anyway, this coming weekend, Dave gets a break from training and travels over to Manhattan for some good, ol' city fun. And, apparently, he's very excited about it.

So, my New York friends, keep an eye out for this nerd. Might I suggest you focus on gutters, bar floors and gypsy cabs....?

My drunk grandma...

...Now has her own corner of The Interwebs.

http://www.mydrunkgrandma.com

You're welcome. Or, I'm sorry. I'm not sure which yet.

Renegade

Renegade Craft Fair has its pluses. It's close enough for me to walk to, it takes place during a glorious time in Chicago and it even has some cute things for sale.

But it's also overrun with hipsters, some handmade trash and high price tags, and THAT is super-annoying.

So when I see posts like this (Missed Connections), I can't help but smile.

Of life and legs

Over the last decade or so, I've found that the stages of a gal's life and relationship status can be measured by the state of her legs.

In my experience, there have been 4 leg/life/relationship levels.

Status: Single
Legs: Shaved often enough, but only really before heading out for the evening
Reason: You never know. *wink, wink*

Status: In a relationship
Legs: Shaved to perfection. With shaving cream, even!
Reason: Look how flawless I am. You totally want to marry this.

Status: Married
Legs: Shaved haphazardly in a speedy shower
Reason: I'm late for work and it's not your birthday.

Status: My business-traveling husband is in New York for the rest of September
Legs: I have legs?

It's a new low, y'all.

Open mouth, insert foot, cash paycheck

Well, folks, it looks like my professional purgatory is coming to an end. Here's how things have gone down.

Sam
Sam, the dude with no real personality (read: not cool work) proposed (offered me the job) with a verrrrry expensive ring (excellent salary). I told him I couldn't accept because I was waiting for Barry. Sam didn't care to wait so he moved on. Bye bye, Sam.

Barry
Oh, Barry. Rather than proposing outright, he asked me to start living with him (writing for free for his blog) for one week. I agreed...but the work I had to do was not suited to my strengths. Suffice to say I was disenchanted. So, after all this time, I broke up with him. I think it was the right thing to do.

Miles
Remember when I was all, oh, this bullshit guy? Well, we're totally getting married. He waited for me, there turned out to be a lot of substance there, I like his family (my new coworkers) and it just feels right. And the work? The work looks awesome. We're talking magazine-style publications, kick-ass marketing campaigns, shocking creative support from the top and lots of room for creativity. We're working out some details now, but the wedding should be at the end of this month.

So there you have it. Retirement will be over, I'll have to start wearing pants again and my bank account won't be so shriveled up. (ZAPPOS, I'VE MISSED YOU.)

It's a new step -- hopefully one in the right direction -- and I'm excited to see what will come next.

Someone had a bad day

Over the weekend, I received a text from a random (773) phone number informing me, "This is my new number."

Unsure who "my" referred to, I tried to think which of my friends was not only getting a new number but was also absent-minded enough not to tell me who the heck they are. I came up with nothing. Sooo, I responded.

Done. Won't hear from them again, I thought.

The next morning, I was awoken by my phone going off before 8:00. As I do with all communication attempts before I've rolled out of bed, I ignored it.

Then my phone beeped again. Again, I ignored it.

When I woke up an hour and a half later, I checked my phone and saw this:

Oh, dear. My sweet, dumb, mystery person. Not the best morning for you.

So I responded much more directly this time.

And then all was right with the world.