My birth story, as told by mom via text

It's the digital age, kids. As such, my mom decided to tell me about my birth 28 years ago. Through text message.


December 19, 7:37pm
Happy almost birthday..got to hospital at 6:30 and delivered you at 8:22..spent whole day waiting for your dad because I had the only car.

December 20, 12:35pm
Happy birthday...at this point I was reading a preggo book to see if I was in labor...still could not tell!

December 20, 1:43pm
By now I had gone shopping for egg nog to bring to a party.

December 20, 4:13pm
Now I was yelling at my friends who wanted to come get the egg nog for the party..just in case I couldn't make it.

December 20, 4:28pm
Called best friend with 2 kids to ask for advice. This devout Mormon told me to take a shot of vodka...if it was false labor it would stop.

December 20, 4:37pm
Waited 10 minutes then called her yelling...now they will think I'm an alcoholic!!!! And your dad needed to be picked up around 5:30.

December 20, 4:45pm
At the advice of a nurse neighbor, I started timing my "cramps."

December 20, 5:05pm
Pure panic has now hit as I realize cramps are about 7 min apart and the ride to get your father is about 12.....

December 20, 5:07
After searching for the keys, I headed off to get your dad...I did have to pull over on the roadside for a wave of cramps to pass...

December 20, 5:15pm
By now I am pretty sure I'm in labor..the several gallons of nog in my fridge..and your dad nowhere to be found.

December 20, 5:39pm
After waiting with the front seat reclined, he finally show up. I tell him I'm in labor and he has to drive.

December 20, 5:40pm
He was not receptive to anything after working a 36-hour shift...and he protested...I insisted.

December 20, 5:45pm
By the time we reached the first traffic light, he asked if my suitcase was in the car...it wasn't.


Aaaaand that's when I picked up the phone and called her. As she mentioned in her first text, I was born at 8:22pm. The biggest lesson here is that it's fine -- actually good -- to take shots of liquor if you think you're in labor. Cheers!