Thursday, October 23, 2008

Gotta have options

Last night, Ang and Suz came over for a packing party where I bribed them with wine to help me shove my crap into flimsy cardboard boxes. They totally went for it, so we packed up most of the kitchen and most of our closet while sipping on sauvignon blanc. I'd call that a success.

I got some fun pictures of the whole charade, but I still need to upload them. Instead, I'll tell you the story of what happened when Ang and I stopped by Whole Foods to get the wine.

We walked up to the checkout lane, armed with 3 bottles of wine and a large bottle of raspberry beer. I put it on the thingy, got out my ID and waited my turn. The checkout boy stared at me, studying my face to make sure he can match it with my license photo. (I assumed.)

When it's my turn, the checkout boy does not touch my alcohol. I'm holding my ID out, but he's not taking it. Just staring. A checkout girl swoops in and takes my ID and rings me up.

That's right, folks. This kid wasn't old enough to sell us alcohol. But that didn't stop him from trying to hit on me. (Score?)

Boy: So, you guys gonna drink all that tonight?

Me: Um, yeah.

Ang: (briskly) It won't be enough.
She goes back to her phone call.

Me: Actually, she's probably right.

Boy: Well, if you let me give you my number, maybe I can come over and help you drink it.

Ballsy! And let me tell you, I rarely get hit on. So whenever it does happen, I love it because it means I can run home to Dave and be like, "BE NICE TO ME. I HAVE OPTIONS." This exchange, however, had me feeling weird. I think I'm 7 or 8 years older than this guy. (On a related note, what's cougar territory?)

Me: Well, it's kind of a girls night tonight...
Oh, and my husband will be there.

Boy: You could pretend I'm a girl.

Okay, this sounds like it's going to a freaky place that I want no part of.

Me: ....

Boy: (quickly) I could bring stuff over. What do you need?

Ang: (chiming in) FOOD.

Boy: I could bring food. You like cereal? How about cereal?

Something was not right with this kid. I mean, of COURSE I like cereal. But, dude, we're drinking wine. Wine and cereal? That's your big idea? That's how you're gonna win me over? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to step it up a bit. I'm not going to leave my husband for cereal. Maybe offer something with goat cheese and then we'll talk.

Looks like my options are dwidling, people. Guess I'm stuck with Dave, the attractive, brilliant man who cooks, cleans and puts up with my shit more than I deserve. Sigh.


Marie said...

I'm going out on a limb here and making a huge guess that choosing Dave over the check out boy was actually a GOOD and SMART choice.

Cereal? Seriously? That's it?

Joy @ Big Time Fancy said...

1) Fruity beer is AMAZING. The Peach variety is my favorite.

2) Ballsy, if stupid, kid.

3) What, you wouldn't have wanted him to bring snacks? Sheesh.

maris said...

LOL I wonder if cereal was the first thing he thought of and blurted it out? You'd think he could do better than that, working at WHOLE FOODS.

Aunt Becky said...

Why didn't you get his number again? He sounds HOT.

hautepocket said...

Ok but what if he offered Lucky Charms?

elle michelle said...

Marie: Yes, Dave is one of my smarter choices. ;-)

Joy: I know, I shouldn't ever really turn down free food, huh?

Maris: That's EXACTLY what I thought. With all the incredible food around him, that's where his mind went??

Aunt Becky: You mean "hott." Yes. This situation warrants two t's.

HP: Okay, THAT I might have said yes to.

The BAMF said...

WHOA WHOA WHOA now. I read this..and I should have ben appalled at the ignorant child's actions...but I was left with one screaming thought in my head.


Elle...come on now. Fruity beer?

Its ok though, they have support groups to help people who drink that stuff.



theycallmecurlysue said...

Love this. HA! I shouldn't have read this at work because I was laughing my ass off. You poor woman! It's one thing to get hit on and tell your man, I do it to(!), but when the guy offered cereal I lost it. :D You should tell David that if he doesn't take care of your the way he should you always have beer and cereal.

Related Posts with Thumbnails