Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The one where I do something really stupid

The other day, I ended up watching Wife Swap. I know, that shit is a major trainwreck, but that's why I love it.

Anyway, during this particular episode, a crazy hippie with no exposure to the modern world ended up putting regular dish soap in the dishwasher. Are you kidding me, I thought. What kind of MORON do you have to be to actually do that??

And then tonight, it happened to me:




Don't think less of me, people! It was the damn cold meds! They should all have a new warning label that says, "Do not operate a dish washer under the influence of this drug." I just grabbed the wrong dish stuff in my foggy haze and dumped it in the machine. It's an innocent mistake. I promise you, I'm really not that stupid. It's just the meds!

(Dave, by the way, is having a fucking field day with this fiasco. I know I will NEVER, EVER live it down.)

Internet, please, please make me feel better by telling me something stupid you've done recently. Your humiliation will help alleviate mine.

21 comments:

ANG* said...

hahhahahahahhaha! elle! ha. wow.
ummm well lets see...i do stupid shit all the time.
1) spilled green soup all over my couch and now it has to be professionally cleaned.
2) i cant do simple math (ever)
3) oh and when i was in cali (so its not that recent) but i washed my hair with body wash. two days in a row before i realized what i was doing!

we all have our moments. i definitely blame the nyquil. i've seen you on that stuff...

Mermanda said...

Hey Elle, I'm not sure if I've ever commented on your blog before, but I've been reading it for a few months. I wanted to tell you two things:

1. You don't have to feel bad about the dish soap. We all do that shit once in a while. My fiance's "thing" is setting owner manuals on fire. He has done this twice. Once he preheated our new oven without taking out the manual, and just a few weeks ago he set the owners manual to our new wok too close to the flame of the stove. I love it b/c I can bring it up every time I do something completely idiotic.

2. We have a lot in common on the sister front. I saw your new blog and we are definitely kindred spirits. ::HUGS::

Lovesfool said...

True story. My senior week in high school I was the designated dishwasher one evening (I don't know why). It just happened to be my first time running a dishwasher. I didn't hesitate to grab the Dawn dish shop and BAM next thing I know I'm standing in the kitchen with bubbles all around me. If I wasn't drunk I probably would have been humiliated.

Alexandreena said...

Oh, I do many.

Recently, while boiling an egg I sort of forgot abou it and allowed it to boil until it exploded. Fun!

Marie said...

Don't worry, I'm sure Dave will do something that you can hold over his head for a while!

TKTC said...

Did Dave ride his bike to work yesterday? Only felt like rolling one pantleg? Don't worry about the suds...saves on Swiffers :)

surviving myself said...

Nice. If Dave is a good man, and it seems like he is, it is his duty to never let you live that down.

courtneyryan369 said...

I was distracted and on cold meds one day while doing laundry...
Put the money in,
Put the soap in,
Get started

20 min later when it's all done?
I realize I never put soap in.

That's just ONE example.

Lacey Bean said...

Hahahah that's great. Let's see... recent stupidity? Oh a few months ago I needed to call 1800 Flowers, and went looking on their website for the phone number... Derrrr

Greg said...

I was cleaning up after having a bowl of cereal... without a second thought I put the jug of milk in the cabinet and the cereal box in the fridge.

Didn't mess up any major appliance but I did ruin some milk.

Michelle said...

Don't worry, last night I cooked a roast, I asked hubby to go check on it half way through and I had forgotten to turn the oven on..

The Alleged Ringleader said...

I put food wrapped in foil in the microwave and now it's broken.
I'm a genius.

The BAMF said...

Ok. I am an EXPERT in doing retarded things.

Here's my latest. I decided to rent a good ol' "Rug Doctor" and steam clean my carpets in my apartment. I spent all afternoon doing this. I mean, I shampoo-ed, steam cleaned...my apartment was BALLER.

After I was done, I noticed I had worked up aquite a thirst. So, I went to the Fridge...poured a nice, tall glass of ice cold Pomegrante/Acai Berry stuff (hey its healthy-ush)...and walked back into my living room.

I then proceeded to drop the entire glass onto the carpet.


John = FAIL.


=(

Audrey said...

Elle, at least you did the dishes and kept your New Years Resolution.

Shellbell said...

Ok, so MORE than once, I have run the washing machine, only to realize (at the end) that I didn't put any clothes in...
But would you expect any less from me???

rachel said...

i forgot to shave one leg in the shower today. i was already out and dried off before i noticed, and i'm off from work tomorrow... so i didn't bother to hop back in fix it.

i'm a classy broad i tell ya.

RebeccaC said...

Out of curiosity..what happens when you do this? Suds suds galore? Or something more evil? I can totally see how this would happen though.

If it makes you feel better, I tried to slam the car door with the seatbelt hanging out and the little metal part put a giant scratch on the inside door panel. JiT was totally thrilled with that.

Aunt Becky said...

My life is a series of me doing stupid ass stuff. Lately? Hm. Well. Hm.

I fell on my knee (badly) because I didn't see a box on the floor. It was sexy. Oh and I thought my water had broken? Nope. Just peed myself.

Rebekah said...

Mine also involves soap and cold medicine! More importantly, it involves a brand-new razor and an attempt to shave my legs without glasses on or contacts in. I got so dizzy bending over trying to shave that I fell forward and gashed my ankle right on a vein. In my boyfriend's new apartment. Where we could not find Band-aids.

Eventually it didn't matter about the band-aids because we needed a freaking dishtowel to soak up the blood, and he still give me crap about needing to put a "no shaving while under the influence" warning on Sudafed.

hautepocket said...

I'm proud of you.

The last time I was sick, I poured orange juice into a cup that was upside down. FAIL.

Audrey said...

Come on - new post please!!

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