Thursday, January 29, 2009

How others define me

On J's Tumblr this morning, I saw that she shared one of those astrology pieces that define each person's philosophies, character and personality by their signs. I love being put into a neatly define little box like that (or I just love destroying them), so I couldn't help but indulge.

As a December 20 baby, I'm technically a Sagittarius, but I'm on the cusp of being a Capricorn. This means I read both analyses and pick the one I like better.



The Sagittarian Woman

Sagittarian women are friendly, sociable, and outgoing.
Yes. Mostly because I drink a lot, but it's kinda true nonetheless.

They have a reputation for being blunt speakers who don't worry how their opinions will be received.
Completely. Even though I'm well aware that being "blunt" is almost always code word for "bitch." Thanks for that.

Like their male counterparts, Sagittarian women love to travel and are curious about other cultures.
Not so much. It REALLY depends on where we're going (beachy and alcohol-y) and if I can fly first class (unlikely).

Like other fire-sign females, they are not afraid to take risks.
Since my first instinct here was, "Define risks," I think I just answered a resounding NO to this one as well.

Sagittarian women are often tall and svelte, though they have a tendency to put on weight in middle age.
Tall!? Did you just laugh as much as I did? Not laughing so much at the middle-age weight gain thing, though. I don't think I want to be a Sagittarius.

They have a fashion style all their own.
This makes me think of the time my mom showed up to my gymnastics place dressed in full-on camo gear. For no reason! WTF is wrong with her? Since that's my frame of reference for unique "style," I feel like this could be either a good or bad statement.



Well, I'm not loving the Sagittarius classification. Capricorn? Your turn. (Andy, pay attention.)



The Capricorn Woman

Capricorn women have a cool, standoffish charm.
Wait, my standoffish-ness is still charming? Win!

Elegant and glacial, they may seem unapproachable.
Okay, we get it, we're aloof.

Actually, this is a mask to hide their vulnerability.
Nu uh! I'm totally a hardass all the time and I don't feel any ounce of vulnerability! (You guys like me, right?)

Capricorn individuals are afraid of "losing face."
Sigh. Agreed.

They fear criticism and can't abide being forced to be self-critical.
I don't so much "fear it" as much as I sometimes "want to slap someone because of it."

This woman is competitive, though she is usually more interested in besting her own efforts than those of rivals.
I'm super competitive. Unless I'm playing Kart with Jay and Billy. (Which is to say, I at least know my own limits.)

If she is not involved in an outside career, she will turn her home into a career.
Oh, I'm sure I would. When I freelanced for a year and worked from home, I was so miserable that I turned into creepy domestic lady who started making dinner at 3pm.

She is a good, if overly strict, mother and expects the best from her children.
Sounds like that's how I would be. Of course, I'm still not totally sold on the idea of kids, but if I were, I bet I'd totally set up unreasonable expectations for them and strictly punish them when they forget to put two olives in my vodka. GO TO YOUR ROOM.


Well, what about you?

Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces

6 comments:

Marie said...

So being blunt can mean being a b*tch? Oh well, I guess I'm a b*tch the majority of the time.

The Alleged Ringleader said...

Oh yay thank you for this! I totally needed to waste time doing SOMETHING at work all day - you know aside from work!

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

I feel like most of those traits are things that most people would read and be like, "Yeah< I'm totally like that" either because they're flattering or because they're fairly universal. I think it says a lot about how self-aware you are that you read them and were like, "Honestly? I'm not really like that."

I always read these things, too, and part of me is like, "That's true! I AM a giving, selfless person who is going to meet a seductive stranger this week!" And the other part is like, "I want the job of writing these things."

Rebekah said...

I'm on the Aries-Taurus cusp (my birthday is 4-20, heehee) and I read both and pick a favorite too!

Rachel said...

I always have trouble with believing in that sort of thing, even though I usually fit the description of my sign, a Taurus, exactly.

Andy said...

I'm sorry I didn't see this post earlier, because it is filled with gems of wisdom. Capricorn's dog's name is Leo. I wonder what that says about him.
And Capricorn doesn't like to lose face, so you got that right.

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