Tuesday, August 12, 2008

This is what he's marrying

I almost titled this post "This is what I'm marrying," but, well, clearly he's the one who's getting the short end of the stick. This happened last week and I forgot to post it.

The location: Our kitchen
The time: After dinner
The scene: I want Special K Red Berries, so I grab one of the two boxes in the cabinet.

Dave: Nuh, uh, uh. Get the open box. Not the new one.

Me: Um, I KNOW that.

Dave: Geez, it's like living with a 12-year-old.

Me: (glares)

Dave: (grins)

Me: Don't you be condescending towards me.

Dave: (laughs)

Me: I will kick you in the nuts!
Yeah, I went there. Usually I go with the very vague, "I will fuck you up!" but I decided to mix it up a bit.

Dave: (stops laughing)

Me: (smiles)

Dave: You suck.

Me: Come on. What would your life be without me? I'm so entertaining.
Me: (bellowing like The Gladiator) ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

Dave: Hang on, I'm imagining my life without you...

Me: Wha?

Dave: I'd be in the club. Bitches ALL around.

Me: Oh, you WISH.

Dave: Asians. Awww, yeeeaaahh.

Me: What's WRONG with you?

Dave: Maybe at Elm Street Liquors.

Me: Oh, with the cougars? Have fun with that.


ANG* said...

extra hysterical cause i can just hear those words coming out of both of your mouths... :)

Anonymous said...

That dialogue gave me my morning soda snort. Fantastic.

Stephanie said...

That sounds like my boyfriend. Occassionally, he forgets that I'm not completely retarded and know to eat from the OPEN box of cereal. Men..

Anonymous said...

I'm just impressed that your boyfriend even notices things like which box is already open. Mine? Not so much. Every open box of cereal in our house looks like a T-Rex attacked the thing! It's mind-boggling. :)

Anonymous said...

** oops. I meant fiance!

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