Monday, November 17, 2008

Mom learns the Goog

I taught my mom Gmail the other day. It was the single most hilarious thing I have ever done. And that includes all of my attempts at cooking.

Once I set her up with an email address, I introduced her to G-chat -- keeping her on the phone of course, as I walked her through some of the features.

For example, I showed her emoticons, to which she responded, "Oooooo, they're little computer tattoos!" Sure. I figured that enthusiasm was enough of a sign that she was ready for a group chat.

Now, so you know, my sister took over and was typing everything just to show my mom how chatting worked. This is an example of the little gems I get when I talk to my sister online:

Sister: Poop is a palindrome.

Me: Wow.

Sister: Wow is a palindrome too.

So we were really having a conversation with my sister instead of my mom, but you can pinpoint the exact moment Mom took over.

Me: Kid, why don't you use Gmail?

Dave: Yeah, seriously, Gmail is the best.

"Mom": Uhhhh. I plead the fifth.
"Mom": I use my school email.

Me: Just switch.

Dave: Do Gmail. You could probably get [email addresses based on sister's name]. Easy to remember.


Dave: Probably taken already.

"Mom": Or ElleMichelleIsAWhore

Dave: I already reserved that one.
Dave: In case we get divorced.


"Mom": Mom is LOLing right now. I'm teaching her Internet lingo. She was actual ROFL.

Me: This is definitely the most hilarious thing ever.

Mom: good-by and love to all

Looks like real Mom has decided to make an appearance! And I guess this is her awkward way of saying that she's totally over G-chat.

Me: Oh, you're done now?

Mom: i can only tyoe so much

Me: Okay

ps this was the big kahuna speaking!!!

I have NO clue where this moniker came from, but my mom has dubbed herself "the big kahuna" ever since my engagement, when she sent us an email through our wedding website that came from "the big kahuna." I was like, who the fuck is that? Anyway, I digress.

Me: hahahaha. You're so freaking weird.

Mom: you hang up first

Me: It's not a phone...

Mom: Did you hang up?

Dave: Oh, God.

Me: Just close the window, Mom.
Mom left.

I was going to tell her we need to do the video chat, but after conversations like this, I don't know if I want to. It's FAR more hilarious to watch her decipher the Internet. Hopefully, there will be more to come.


Marie said...

You should see my mom trying to move the computer mouse. She thinks it controls her instead of the other way around.

Parents are fun.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...


My grandma once sent me an email (this is the only email she's ever sent me) in which the ENTIRE BODY OF THE EMAIL was in the subject line.


The Alleged Ringleader said...

LOL I remember when I taught my granny how to use aol, I know now not to open up that can of worms again!

Rachel said...

I have decided that I love your mom and want to start a fan club for her.

erin said...

i will be helping my mom figure out her new imac and ipod touch when i go home for thanksgiving. she bought them two months ago but still hasn't taken them out of the boxes.

Andy said...

My dad just got his first real cell phone. He thinks text messaging is fascinating.

Claire said...

1. My mom keeps wanting to buy a Mac so we can video chat and 2. I have set her up with a gmail account but a. she has my dad check it for her and b. just lets things she requested - a la Daily Candy - pile up...

One time I tried to explain the concepts of different computer 'windows' and scrolling...Hilarity

The BAMF said...

Elle. Tell your mom I am proud of her!! Haha! she MIGHT remember the little goofy kid I was back in the day!

Brick Cedar said...

I just signed your mom up for a shit ton of porn.

Woman of the day
Man of the day
Bewbs of the day
Preggers of the day
Preggers Man of the day

I thought she needed something in her inbox.

p.s. the "you hang up first" part sent me over the edge.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh! That was too funny :)

elle michelle said...

Marie: That is hilarious!

Overcoat: Hahahaha, oh wow. Priceless.

Ringleader: Yeah, that's a mistake you only make once.

Rachel: Oh, god, don't feed her ego. ;-)


Andy: I am highly impressed your dad knows texting, much less that he likes it. My dad has a cell phone. He may have even turned it on once...

Claire: Your mom gets massive points for knowing what video chat even means.

BAMF: Of course she'd remember you!

Brick Cedar: I knew you'd love the hang up part. Can't you just picture her sitting at the computer, completely confused? Usually she just walks away when she doesn't know what to do.

Miss Musing: Glad you enjoyed it!

surviving myself said...

The Big Kahuna?

That is fucking awesome. I don't even have something that cool to call myself. You know, other than when I look in the mirror and say, "You are pretty cool."

Taren said...

story of my life!

love your blog, by the way

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